Well, the worst has happened.
I’m not gonna lie, I’m still feeling pretty raw. I’m furious. I’m terrified. I’m devastated. And again, I’m furious.
I have zero tolerance right now for explanations, for analyses, for excuses. I will not be gaslit into tolerance or understanding. I will not rush to solutions. I will not be shamed for catastrophizing.
America has shown its ass, and it’s ugly AF.
We knew he’s incompetent. We knew he’s a criminal. We knew he’s a lying, racist, rapist, fascist, narcissistic, treasonous, pants-shitting clown. Nobody can pretend the information wasn’t there, in absolutely disgusting abundance. We lived through it, all of us, absorbing it into each and every one of our greasy American pores. And we still chose more.
Not all of us, to be sure. Not me. But that doesn’t really matter anymore, because we’re all going to suffer for it. And I don’t even need to name this atrocity, do I? That’s how enormous it is. The entire world is watching this dumpster fire and shaking our collective heads with horror.
So honestly? I’ll probably be among the first on the firing line anyway, so I’m just going to go ahead and say it: I AM FUCKING PISSED. And I’m not sorry. I know I talked a good game last week about tending to our wounds, and I’ll probably get there eventually. But right now?
Yeah, I’m furious. I’m terrified. I’m devastated. And I’m furious.
And I think Seven of Cups is here to say that’s ok.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Nothing about this is ok. But this reaction to it is. Hear me out.
There are those who are already sprinkling memes like fairy dust about what we do NEXT. They want us to immediately set aside our crybaby caterwauling and get busy. Organize. Make art. Buy a gun. Get a passport. Write letters. Donate. Take to the streets. Change your name. Leave social media. Get on different social media. Leave the state. Build community. Whatever you do, don’t just sit there feeling sorry for yourself! When the going gets tough, the tough put on blue bracelets!!!
Look, I’m not about to tell you not to do any or all of those things. I will probably do many of them myself. What choice do we have?
But that’s just it: we have all these choices. None are mutually exclusive. But all of them take energy, time, intention. Sometimes money and planning. Quite often, more privilege than many realize. We simply can’t drop everything and do it all in this next moment, or even today, even in these purgatorial few weeks before January.
And meanwhile, we have to grieve. Because that’s what the poets tell us our anger really is, right?
Seven of Cups says just sit with it all. Usually this means take the time to dream, don’t rush to a decision. Look at all these beautiful cups you have! Appreciate them. Shine ‘em up, put them on display. You don’t have to pick just one. Not yet. When you’re ready to do so, you’ll know. Just sit and enjoy dreaming with them for now.
Only right now those cups feel kinda like they’re full of poison, I know. They’re heavy. They’re tarnished and chipped. The work of maintaining them is exhausting. We’ve been doing it for so… so… long already. And here we are again. Fucking dammit.
But you know what? They don’t have to be pretty. None of this does.
The thing I love about the 7s in the tarot is that the clue to their meaning is right there in the shape of the number itself: you’ve got a steady horizontal line, and then suddenly it shifts to a diagonal. The 7s implore us to flip our perspective. The thing we thought was the key to our happiness, the solution to our problem, the answer to our question, whatever it was? Well surprise, it’s the wrong question in the first place.
You’re allowed to be messy in this. You can be mad about it. You can alienate some folks, and maybe empower some others in the process. You can say you’re sad, then move to manic laughter, and back again. You don’t have to have a hot take. You don’t need all the answers today, and you can change your mind about them tomorrow. And again the next day.
The voting part was so last week. Now we process.
Yes, of course the time is going to come very quickly for action, and we’re all going to be called into some very uncomfortable and maybe even dangerous places. Many will dismiss the severity of this, and many more will fall in line with whatever easy and brutal solutions the new regime offers. By the blessed goddess, I hope enough of us will resist. But sitting with your feelings now doesn’t mean you won’t do anything later. You’ll just be that much more clear about it when you do.
So let those cups be, whatever they are. I promise the right one(s) will be there for you when you’re ready.
And if I may make a suggestion in the meantime? Get a little in your body if you can. Yesterday I attended a weekly ecstatic dance meetup in my little blue neighborhood, and shook a bit of this muck inside me around. I’m still raw as hell, and now I’ve got aching knees to show for it, but a little bit of space opened up in me.
It’s a start.